It's All Too Much

Not been having a good time the last day or two. My partner has started a new dietary regime (which may also help me) but the change has put me under enormous strain at a time when I feel I simply can't cope. I've had to clear out cupboards, buy new provisions and all at a time when I am being advised to take it easy and not put myself under any strain.

This morning I spent about half an hour in the garden in tears. I feel so overwhelmed by everything and very unsupported in a practical sense. I am wondering if I am ever going to get out of this illness. It's just not a good day. I really don't want to be negative and I try, every day to think "what can I do today"? But sometimes all the pent up emotion comes to the surface and it must be let out. It will definitely be easier for me when I am at the stage of being able to manage the cooking and household basics without it being a huge struggle.

I've been so tied up with struggling to buy suitable foods, cook them and keep some kind of order in the kitchen that I have not had time for any spiritual contemplation and I think that is bad for me too. At the moment I am getting such enjoyment from reading all sorts of spiritual books and just letting my mind wander free in the non physical realm. It's like a release. In fact I off to read something now.